Love and boundaries
During an amazing drive in the Andes today, I was reminded of one of my teacher at the time I studied Chinese Medicine. He had an inspiring way of teaching. Sharing with us stories about his travels all over the planet. Each time he chose another landscape to explore. Seeing them as our organs. Learning about our human body, by learning from these landscapes and the challenges or feelings they gave him.
Which really resonated with me. Being a person that learns best by images and experience. Who loves stories. The ones that teach us about ourselves. The ones that are told by the land, the ancestors, our guidance. The stories that expand our perspective.
Well today after this memory. Stories started to flow into my own mind/being. The landscape I was driving through reminded me of the liver. An organ that has played and I reckon will play an important part in my life. Having had many immune system disorders in my life time. But mostly having to deal with the emotional aspect of the liver: feeling and expressing anger in a healthy way. Experiencing and setting boundaries. Not being able to do this, caused the illnesses. At least that is how I see it.
At a very young age my boundaries were trespassed and violated. In the name of love, I was told. So from that moment on, I had a messed up idea about love. I thought it was normal to allow others to violate my boundaries. As a matter a fact I did not even learn how to set them. Since I had the belief boundaries were going to leave love out of my life. Later on I confused unconditional love with having no boundaries. Which made it even more complex.
Since at that time I thought God, the being of love, asked me to be without boundaries. Endless giving. No matter if this sometimes hurt. Yes, the martyr in me was having a good time by then. In the mean while I felt unsafe, in pain and angry. But this was covered by a very well developed I can do it all (by myself) part. Step by step I became my own worst enemy. Believing I did not need boundaries, while building inner walls around my heart, to keep the pain out that came along with having no boundaries.
For a longtime I attracted people that were masters in crossing boundaries. In a way a blessing in disguise, since the pain and anxiety that came along with it, invited me to start learning how to set my boundaries. To feel my boundaries. To know myself. To know which boundaries I need to feel safe, love(d).
So I learnt how to respect myself. In return my energy field became stronger due to an increase in self-love. Nowadays I attract people who respect my boundaries as I do myself. My life and relationships have changed profoundly. I feel free and can fly higher than I ever could while having no boundaries. I feel love(d).
In this landscape this whole process passes by. And I am reminded of my teacher, who like I am doing right now. Learnt from nature. A big salute to all the teachers that remind us to feel, be open and receive the wisdom of mother Earth. For we are one with her. Our body is a mini universe. Carrying the same elements as her inside of it.